Fitted Sheets
When I see sheets lumped in a laundry basket, I set it aside. My short wingspan makes folding sheets tricky. My chin holds one section as my arm grabs and swoops, while another section of the sheet is pinned between my hip and the washing machine. The whole thing goes against the natural order of the sheet’s 220 count cotton fiber. And even worse than the flat sheet is the fitter bugger. Do those pocket areas get shoved into each other or should they be squashed flat?
Who decided sheets should be folded? They are just mounds of bed bug-hosting fabric that can be beautifully balled up. Look at your sheets when they come out of the dryer - a near perfect wad. When sheets and children and apples exist in their natural form, they’ve reached a stage or rightness. When we try to make crisp folds in expanses of wrinkled fabric, or dress children in tight dress shoes, or spray and wax an apple into a shiny orb, we take away their essence.
I’ve stopped trying to fold fitted sheets. For twenty some years I’ve been agonizing over this task. My sheets never look folded even when I do the swoop and squash maneuver. If I did take the time to fold them perfectly, who would know? The cat could cook dinner before John would notice wrinkle-free sheets. I don’t think my kids will require years of therapy if they slide their freshly bathed bums onto crumpled cotton. So why had I allowed myself to literally get wrapped up in this task?
Standards of perfection were set by laundresses of a long gone era. But the influence of these women from the golden age of domestication still lurks in laundry rooms, bathrooms and kitchens today. They come disguised as great aunts, elderly neighbors and mother-in-laws. Comments may not be audible but images drive our inner domestic goddess. I’m kicking that goddess to the curb. Setting unrealistic standards of perfection are as outdated as my mother’s Mop-n-Glow.
My kids wear tennis shoes to church. The awkward organic apples made a better crisp than the shiny supermarket variety. And, my sheets are wadded in a ball in my linen closet. Cheers to a perfect New Year!
4 Responses to “Fitted Sheets”
December 27th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Hi Kathy,
I’m so glad you just roll up your sheets in a wad, store them in the linen closet and shut the door! How refreshing! One of my dear friends (a real clean freak) proudly showed me her linen closet one day where not only does she fold the fitted sheets but she has a beautiful bow to gift wrap them together along with the matching pillowcases and flat sheet -just like a present! I laughed as she explained that’s how she also labels which set is a queen, double and so on. Her closet looked like Macy’s bed and bath section. Yikes! Thank goodness being a good mom and homemaker isn’t measured by organized linen closets. I like to think about your comparison to children and nature and keeping things in their natural essence. Thank you! -Susan
January 3rd, 2007 at 1:20 pm
That is so funny! For years I have felt inadequate since I cannot fold sheets. I am so happy to learn that I am not the only one. And for the record, the trick to a great linen closet is a good door that shuts. Good luck with your book! I can’t wait to buy a copy.
January 5th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Kathy,
Its so funny that you mentioned folding sheets. I remember my mom spending time with me teaching me the “correct” way to fold linens and proudly placing them in the closet. I’ve tried to reproduce her masterpiece and have failed over and over. Then I thought, do I really want to turn into my mother? Well, the answer is no and yes! I’ve given up on the perfectly folded sheets, but decided I’d like to retain some of the other qualities she has, like the ability to laugh at the fact that she spent hours and hours perfecting how to fold sheets. I love this site Kathy…I’ve been away for a while, but I’m glad to be back.
January 6th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Kathy, This was timely - I just finished “folding” sheets and jamming them in the closet ( the only door handle in the house that doesn’t catch when closing…) I am not even very proficient at folding pillowcases - pathetic! When I worked in day care the children brought little plastic bags from home each week containing their freshly washed blanket and sheet for nap time. One of the children always had this perfectly folded crib sheet which we would quickly toss on top of one of the cots. I always marveled at the care the mother gave to this simple task. I will no longer try to achieve perfection in this area. Thanks for freeing that up for me!! Marcia Pratt