Big Help
Am I getting old, or lazy, or smart? I use to scramble up on top of the counter in my laundry room to retrieve rolls of paper towels from the jumbo Sam’s Club pack. But today when I needed a roll, I grabbed a helper. Graham was sitting in the kitchen finishing his snack when I headed to get the towels.
“Hey bud, would you help me out with something?”
“Yeah, what?”
“Can you climb up there and get some paper towels?”
“Sure, yeah, I can reach that,” he said with great enthusiasm because he isn’t usually allowed to climb on counters, and sofas and dining room tables.
Getting up high was fun for him. Then, while I thought about how easy that made my life, I remembered why I needed the towels.
“Graham, can you do me another favor?”
“Do I get to climb somewhere else?”
“No, you get to pick up the chipmunk that Fitz left in the garage.”
And guess what, he did it no problem. I may never have to pick up another dead rodent and it only cost me the pain of childbirth and eight years of child rearing.
But the chippy incident reminded me that sometimes I forget to ask for help, especially from the kids. They make their beds and set the table. Paige babysits and the boys scoop the cat litter, but I always ask. Shouldn’t they just see a dead chipmunk and throw it out? Or a full can of trash and empty it? Or a dirty dish and clear it? At what age does this stuff click?
I want my kids to be independent and know how to clean the tub or make spaghetti or just put away their clothes, but some days I bark just to get a bed made. What do your kids do to help? Do you have to ask? Do you ever do the task because it’s easier than fighting the battle?
Now that I know an eight year old can throw out the cat prizes, I’m going to ask more diligently for their help. Who knows, maybe Paige will make dinner this summer.
14 Responses to “Big Help”
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May 23rd, 2007 at 7:48 am
Kathy
I know exactly what you are talking about unless iam the wicked witch of the south hills i cant get any help. In my dream of dream one day Iam going to wake up and wave my wand and everyone is going to be so nice and more than helpful to me… Hey a girl can dream. Good thoughts.
maureen
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:02 am
If your message could get out to all the young mothers in todays world, the impact would change our whole society. It is so important to give your children roots and wings and you are exceptional in the “roots” part for now and this will make everyone ready when it is time for the “wings” part.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:27 am
Sounds like a wonderful read. Please advise asap when and where can purchase 3 copies - one for the McElhaneys and one for each of our daughters. With all of our various moves it was difficult to give them roots in a particular place; however, we certainly did give them wings.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
Kathy,
I have 3 kids, 2 of which seem to be fairweather helpers if you know what I mean. My 17yo daughter will help in a minute if she knows it will get her $5 for a favorite Jamba Juice. My 9yo son seems to think that one minute of help that he gives me is for sure worth $3. My 13yo son (with Down Syndrome) is truly the only one that pitches in and helps for as long as I need him to and he doesn’t ask for a single penny. I should be paying him to rub his work ethics off on the other two!!!
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:00 am
HI KATHY,
YOUR MOM SENT ME YOUR GREAT WEB SITE. IN CASE YOU DON’T REMEMBER ME I USED TO BABYSIT FOR YOU ON RIDGEWOOD. BOB AND YOUR DAD PLAYED SOCCOR TOGEHER.
I LOVE YOU BOOK AND WOULD BE THE FIRST TO BUY IT. EVEN THOUGH IT IS ALITLE YOUNG FOR ME I HAVE MANY MNAY YOUG FRIEND THAT COULD BENEFIT FROM IT.
HOPE IY GEYS ON THE SHELVES SOON.
DEDE MORRISON
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:17 pm
You just keep getting better. You know, husbands are kinda like that too. When I asked my family, they did it but seldom on their own. Must go with the territory. Keep going. love Joan
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:28 pm
This is so exciting I am pleasde to know that you have an agent and will look forward to purchasing several books when they come on the market. Just tell them to HURRY UP Love
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:53 pm
I am so pleased that you have found an agent. I’m sure it won’t be long until it will be on the bookshelves nationwide and the many young mothers out there will find comfort and inspiration from your writings. You can count me among the many waiting to purchace a copy.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Happy to hear you will have an agent. Mothers always love to hear that they are not alone with their childrens accomplishment and that inspite of the daily problems their children are normal. With a family there is always something unexpected or challanging. Children do love to be of help - they just do need that push!!
Good luck - I am sure this will be a success
Toby
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 pm
You have a wonderful way of writing about everyday events with delightful insight. You make me pause, think, and smile. Thank you…and keep writing (and sharing it!).
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Great news Kathy about your agent!!! You sure have been working hard and I have been enjoying your website. I can’t wait to get my hands on your book!!! Possibly see you on Oprah too!
My 10 year old loves to throw the clothes in the washing machine like he is shooting hoops. So guess what I am always missing?? You got it socks landing behind the machine! Oh well at least he knows how to do laundry. May-be he can teach dad!!
Best Best of Luck!
May 24th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Fun post, Kathie! Yes, often I have done a task just to avoid the commanding (and pleading) it would require to have the job done by someone else.
For now, my kids aren’t the best helpers. But I console myself by saying they’re good at the bigger, more important things like being kind to others and working hard in school. I know, I know, there’s no reason they can’t be great kids AND help clean up. But, if I had to choose one, I’d take the one I got! (Sounds like an excuse, but it’s working for me.)
Heading to pick up the scattered socks,
Judy
P.S. Big congrats on your agent news!!! Keep us posted!!!
May 24th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
If I had a twelve year old boy around, he’d be my go-to guy for all climbing-and/or-rodent-removing purposes!!
Maybe I should go about getting one…
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
September 4th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
i heard a lot just about this topic in the last few weeks and i imagine it might be true. Eventhough i think everyone is responsible for himself. Just my two cents…