expectations

Originally uploaded by laundrylessons.

So here it is: my motherlode of laundry. We pulled in from the two hour trip back home from camp, the three kids scattered to various electronic devices, and I dumped the contents of the two weeks onto the driveway. Fifty-some pairs of dirty socks, twelve mildewing towels, and stacks of t-shirts covered in mud were not coming into the house until they were ready for their turn in the wash. I’m sure the neighbors could smell camp.

But I made it through my ten loads with little agony. I was expecting to be inundated with what I loathe. That’s the thing with hardship or pain or really long car rides, if you know what you’re in for, if realistic expectations are laid out, then getting through the crud isn’t as bad.

I knew from the moment we arrived home from camp, the laundry room would suck me in and the only light I would see was on my treks out to the driveway. The kids played video games, called friends and raided the cupboard, so I concentrated on the task at hand. The laundry was about what I expected so I wasn’t overwhelmed, and I had a big handful of chocolate when I reached the half-way mark.

Setting expectations is one of the toughest lessons I’ve learned as a mom. When my children were younger I would set these really high expectations for my days – learning activities, healthy meals, special outings. Well, I know that most of you reading this have done the same thing and then ended up battling with a strong willed child over what socks to wear or watching a freshly dressed child fall in a puddle as you’re arriving at the Science Center. When a day doesn’t live up to the pretty little picture we’ve painted then we feel like a kid the day we found out our mom throws our art in the trash.

So I stopped painting pretty pictures all the time. Some days are going to be full of ten loads of mildewing, filth covered clothes, or a scary diagnosis, or a kid with a fever or a husband who works late, or a friend who forgets me. But when I dial my expectations to a lower level, these glitches, disappointments, and filthy clothes seem more manageable. Some days are meant to be taken slowly – the dirt comes out better when we let the crud soak.