Giant Pinch

Originally uploaded by laundrylessons.

A travesty has happened in our suburb. Toys R Us left us. Broken up, dumped, rejected. Were the 100,000 or so suburbanites that live in the five square mile radius of the former store not good enough for the mega toy monopoly? Oh sure we have a mall, (with no toy stores) Walgreens and CVS, Fridays, Olive Garden, Wal-Mart and every other conceivable location to open your wallet. But no toys.

The dilemma arises once or five times a month: what do you buy for a nine year old boy’s birthday party, when you’ve forgotten to travel twenty minutes to the other Toys R Us, and the party starts in a half hour? Books, right, Barnes and Noble and Borders are both three minutes away. But Graham doesn’t want to arrive with a book. Okay, okay, the card store at the mall had some Webkinz last week. After a mad dash, we find only the pink poodle and frog. Unacceptable. Video games? Too much money.

This is where my creativity, the same God given talent that allows me to pack lunches when we’re out of bread and create a Davy Crocket costume without leaving the house, steps in to save me. Home Depot is our next stop.

Within two minutes we spot the perfect gift. A giant-armed pincher. You know for old people, like shrinking grandmas. Our find may just be the only item that equally excites my mother and my nine year old. Graham starts pinching stuff all over the store. He plucks us some light bulbs, garden gloves and lawn refuse bags. Maybe he’ll pick up the leaves this year too?

Just before we check out, I run back and grab a pincher for Graham. Why should some kid I don’t know get the coolest toy ever just because he’s feeding Graham pizza, chips and cake? Graham is elated and pinches all the way to the car.

I’m glad Toys R Us dumped us. Like any doomed relationship, sometimes it’s better to get a fresh start. I’ve given that silly pincher to six boys…it’s always the most popular gift.