I’m Sweating

Originally uploaded by laundrylessons.

The lid of my washer has some nice graphics and directions for treating stains. In case I don’t know where pit stains occur, this diagram is provided. Perspiration/Deodorant is an important thing to remove from clothes. Who wants stained pits?

I sweat when I’m nervous. Public speaking, the security line at the airport and Merritt’s neurologist appointments all have me looking like a construction worker on a ninety degree day. I’m mortified when this happens because I can’t stop my anxiety sweating. It happens so rarely, that when it does, I am totally taken by surprise. I can go a month without wearing deodorant and then bam, I meet with the kid’s teacher and I’m dripping.

But if I’m driving to pick up cat litter, a box to hold wrapping paper and my husband’s allergy medicine and I stop too suddenly and my Starbucks dribbles down my chin, I have another type of stain. A tiny waterfall of brown cascades down my new, kind-of-cool, pale yellow, shirt from Target and forms abstract art on my chest. All day I laugh about the stain, because I forgot my Tide to Go. But sweat a bit, something I have absolutely no control over, and I’m panicked looking for a sweater or worse gluing my arms to my sides. Why are some stains embarrassing, but others we laugh about?

Somebody said, “Never let them see you sweat.” When we work out it’s okay to sweat, but give ourselves and emotional workout and we can’t let anyone see that our insides are mushy. I don’t like that I’m a nervous sweater. But it has taught me that I can’t outsmart my emotions. My body reacts to stressful situations. I can be perfectly cool on the outside, but some primal reaction triggers my brain to get into survival mode.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on crying in public. A sign of weakness? We try to usher our tears quickly into a tissue because we don’t want our friends or neighbors to know we’re sad? The first year of Merritt’s life, ever person who saw me in line at the grocery store or picking up kids from school saw me cry.

Our bodies react. Nothing we can do about the way God made us. I’d like to get rid of my sweat and tears, but it isn’t that easy. I’m stuck with my emotions and sweaty reactions. And I think even the totally cool front loaders can’t wash them away.